My Brother Died

Yup, that's right, my sewing machine, that Josh got for me last Christmas. Kind of regretting giving away my old Kenmore now. I was really happy with a lot of things about the Brother machine, but I was also spending more time fighting with it than actually sewing. Turns out that I'm not the only one, and those machines just aren't that awesome. I took it in to the sewing machine repair place and the technician said it wasn't worth fixing (it would cost more than the machine), and that I shouldn't buy another Brother.

So I started researching sewing machines, and I told Josh that I really wanted a Bernina, but that they are just too expensive and I've never let myself even consider one. I've never been very good about buying expensive things for myself, and I really can't think of anything that I own (besides my car, and well, my bakery) that costs more than a couple hundred dollars.                    nn     ,                                 j m mdsf       r r u5555555 7n 7n  x  x c   z wz  l,
Ada just typed that last part, she's really good at the space bar.
Anyway. We went to this great little local shop today called Modern Domestic that sells Berninas and gives sewing classes. The owner was working and spent half an hour talking me through all the machines. I told her I'd like to spend under $1000 on a machine, and she of course immediately upsold me to the $2000 machine based on my sewing skills and what I'd like to sew. The bottom of the line Bernina (which is still an excellent machine) is $879, and it is kind of below my skill level. It actually does less things than my Brother, but it is a much higher quality machine. So THIS is the machine we decided would be best for me, to allow me to do what I'm doing now, plus some room to grow my skills. And of course it is $2100. Eek! It does come with a 20 year mechanical parts warranty, and I'm pretty sure that I will have it for 20 years.
The cheaper machine is also very nice, but I'm guessing that if I keep sewing like I have been, I'll want to upgrade in the next year or two. Everyone always says that you should spend the money on good quality, right? I need help deciding! I think we can afford it if we pay it off over the next couple of months. Josh is all gung-ho for me to buy it, but I'm having commitment issues. I definitely don't want to end up in a situation again where my sewing machine doesn't even last a year.
What do you guys think?

$2100!

$879!

vaccine reaction

Ada seems to be having a mild reaction to the vaccine this time, which seems weird to me since she didn't have a reaction to the first one. She has a low grade fever and some redness and swelling at the injection spot. She's also tired and grumpy, which is making me sad. Hopefully today will be the last day of it. Last night we gave her some infant tylenol to help her out, and she conked out about 30 minutes after the dosage.

I can't believe that today is October 1st. I had to stare at my phone for a minute today when I saw the calendar said "1". Ada will be 5 month old in a few days, and I really can't figure out where the time has gone. The next couple of months will be a whirlwind of work and holidays and suddenly it will be 2012. And then she'll be turning one. I guess that's just the way it goes - time passes and children grow up.

Next week I start going back to work without her. Josh will have her on Sundays, and we'll have a nanny take care of her on Thursday and Saturday. I've found someone who can take her on Thursday for right now, but I have to work on a permanent situation, because this person can't take her on Saturdays. I'd like to have one person who can do both days. Apparently it is harder to find a part time nanny than a full time one.

I'm going to miss her so much, but I'm also excited to get back to work without her. I've never felt so torn about anything. I'm sure I'll get used to it quickly enough.

4 months, almost five.

Ada had her 4 month pediatrician visit today. She passed with flying colors, and when the Dr. walked in the door she said "She's sitting?! That's two more months from now!" Then we all watched and laughed as she tore and chewed and otherwise destroyed the sterile paper on the exam table. She's apparently as much of a genius as we hoped and she is well ahead with her strength and gross motor skills, her eyesight and focus is great, her flat spot is slowly rounding out, and she had her 2nd DTaP (diphtheria tetanus and pertussis) vaccine today. (Um also, she's in bed and I'm drinking a mimosa as I write this, so sorry for any slurred speech.) Her weight gain, head size and height are all in the 75th percentile, but I'm guessing that is based on 4 month statistics, and she is actually closer to 5 months, so she is probably closer to mid-range.

She is so much fun, and so happy all the time, I just look at her and listen to her babbling and I start crying. I just adore watching her learn and grow. Today I took her to work with me so I could help out when someone called in sick. I have been avoiding taking her there, because she doesn't nap as much and demands more of my attention, so I can't get anything done. Today I tossed her in the Ergo carrier on my back and she was so amazing!

She ended up falling asleep back there and I was able to work for a good couple of hours. Loving that carrier so much! I dragged the co-sleeper (which I have at work for her to sleep in) out into the kitchen for awhile and she sat in there and played with toys for a solid hour as well. She also sat in the bumbo seat for a bit, but she isn't loving it as much now that she can sit up on her own. I was wrapping cookies and had some sitting too close to her and when I looked over I saw this:

Then Josh came and picked us up and we went to the pediatrician. (the pediatrician said: cut back on the cookies porky!) After that we grabbed lunch/dinner, and she chewed on and tore up some newspaper while we ate. All those toys that she has, and all she wants is paper!

We had a great time in Austin seeing everyone, and Julie is doing so great. We loved her nursery (especially the glider, jealous!) and had so much fun eating mexican food, having sno-cones and going to the Baby Earth store. Not to mention the baby shower! Ada loved everyone, and got a bath from Gram, took a serious nap on Aunt Ali, held out her arms to be picked up by her cousin Grace, played with her 2nd cousin Tripp, and had lots of laughs with Grandpa. And she loves Julie so much, (We wonder if it's because we look and sound so much alike?) she spent lots of time sitting on her pregnant belly. Julie's babe even kicked her a few times.

Sorry jules, I know you won't love this picture, but I like that Ada is going for the cake. Or the bib? I'm not sure. You really look more adorable than this in real life. 

It was a long day, and my mimosa has made me sleepy, so goodnight! Talk to you guys soon!

Where have the days gone?

Videos! Ada is amazing us every day. She's sitting and playing with toys, she's making all sorts of noises and raspberries, and she is just so generally happy; we love it! Sometimes it's hard to get over what a perfect baby she is. She's taking the bottle with no problems now, and she's even back to the pacifier. She sleeps all night, she wakes up smiling, and she eats like a champ. She had her first vaccine a few days ago and barely cried. I cried more than she did!
Here are a couple videos from the last two weeks - watching the playing with toys one now, I can't believe how much better she is at sitting just a week later. And the babbling one, she of course was babbling up a storm until I pulled out the camera.

Video Bonanza

We had a fun weekend with Krystal and Brian here, and they brought the heat with them, so it was nice and summery. I took a few videos of Ada, and I was going to put them up one at a time, you know, to build excitement, but do I really have time for that? No. So here they all are, at once! Oh, and I didn't get a video of it yet, but she's finally starting to work on rolling over! She can make it from her back to her side, but I don't think that she's realized she can go further than that.

This one is short. We tried putting her in the Johnny Jump Up my mom sent. She's still too small for it, but she loved it. She immediately started gnawing on the side, and didn't stop until we pulled her out.

This one is kind of loud (Josh was vacuuming in the background) so you might want to turn your volume down. You can see how much more dextrous she's getting with her hands - I can see progress every day. She's very serious about chewing on that block.

This one is the best! It's a bummer it's so blurry, but we caught her laughing on camera! We hope to get more and more of this, we love it so much when she laughs. It's adorable! She's turning into more and more of a little person and it's just so amazing to see her personality develop.

3 months and 1 week

Today is Gram and Grandpa Higgins' Birthday! Yup, both of them. Just for them, a video. It's not super exciting, but she makes a bunch of noise, and there is a bit of drool as well.

She's slowly starting to move her head and respond to noises, you can see it in the video when I say her name. She follows us around with her eyes and her whole head now. I feel like she always knows where I'm at in a room. She's also getting much more dextrous with her hands (and feet actually); she's starting to grab everything, like my hair, and toys and the burp cloth. Still no sign of rolling over, but she's getting really good at tummy time.

12 Weeks!

Blogging is feeling a little overwhelming to me lately. I'm finding it hard to figure out how to best make use of the few minutes I have free here and there. Nap time is when I run around the house as fast as I can picking up blankets and bibs and toys and shoes and throwing dishes in the sink and moving diapers from the washer to the dryer. As soon as I finally sit down for a second (or put a bite of food in my mouth) I hear chirps from the baby monitor. It's pretty hard to be mad at her when I open the door to her room and she is wide eyed and smiling at me.
She's changing amazingly fast, I swear she gets bigger every night and looks different in the morning. She's still sleeping 8-9 hours a night, and generally sleeps another couple hours after eating, so usually about 12 hours total. It's kind of amazing, I'm sleeping too much if I go to bed when she does!

The big news for her right now is teeth. She's teething already, which means lots of drool and general fussiness. I can see one (or maybe 2?) little tooth under her lower gums. She's spending a lot of time chewing on her lower lip and on her hand and anything else she can get in her mouth. She is working so hard on getting the toy in her hand to make it to her mouth, but she hasn't quite got it yet. We think her vision is changing as well, she has been startling at some of our movements, maybe because she is starting to have more depth perception?

She isn't showing a single hint of rolling over, which isn't all bad since that means she might roll off things, like her favorite spot, the changing table. I'm happy to put that off as long as possible. Tummy time is going better though, and her head and neck control is getting better every day. She just wants to sit up and see what's going on constantly.

Our trip to Austin was so much fun, but I'm going to have to try to write another post about the flights and the trip. Josh is out of town tonight and Ada's asleep for the night so I'm going to go read my book for a bit and enjoy some quiet time. Also, I'm not adding any photos to this one since I put them all up on flickr a week ago!

Quick blurry video

Mom's been wanting another video, so I'm posting this one before I leave for Austin for the week. Can't wait to see Julie and her pregnant belly, and Ali and Grace are coming down to meet Ada. I wish this wasn't blurry, but you get to hear her voice a little - she's been working on using it more and more - and some smiles too.
I'll take lots of pictures and some video in Austin, I'll put up a bunch when I'm back.

Baby Shower Video

My wonderful friend and employee Jeff made a video at our baby shower and edited it all together and put it to music and it's so nice! Such a great thing for us to have so we can remember.

Lisa & Josh's baby shower from Because We Must on Vimeo.

9 weeks old.

This kid is growing like a weed! Josh keeps complaining about how much his arms hurt when he holds her. We had a visit from the grandparents, and she took her first trip to the beach. Unfortunately the Oregon coast is cold and windy, so it wasn't her favorite place. It was at least a sunny day.

We saw starfish and tons of sea anemones. Josh saw a crab, and for once, no one fell into a tide pool and got soaked.

On an unrelated note, here are Stella and Richard enjoying the summer sun together.

Dadurday

Saturdays have turned into Josh's day with Ada. He gets up with her in the morning and lets me sleep in a bit, unless she sleeps until 9am like she's been doing, then we all just get up. This week he got her up and made pancakes. The morning light was so good, I love this photo! There are a few more great ones on the flickr page.

She's been so much fun the last few weeks. We got her a $5 mobile from Ikea and hung it over her changing table. Best $5 we ever spent! She stares at it for so long and just smiles and laughs. She's also sleeping 5-6 hours a stretch at night, which is pretty much the best thing ever. I'm excited she finally grew into the booties Sherry crocheted while she was here, dressing her in girly clothes is fun.

Grandma and Grandpa (Sherry and Steve) are coming to visit Friday and we're looking forward to it! I can't wait for Sherry to see how much she's grown. She's so much more fun now! And I'm probably more fun too, now that I'm not in pain all over and exhausted. It will be her first time meeting her Grandpa too, so exciting!

In a couple weeks Ada and I will fly to Austin. Josh is flying to Vegas for work then meeting u sin Austin. I'm a little nervous about flying with her alone, but I've been trying to get her used to the moby wrap carrier so she'll sleep in it on the plane. Hopefully we sit next to someone nice. It's going to be so hit in Texas, but it will be worth it to see Julie!

(almost) 2 Months

I can't believe she's two months old! And then again, I can. It's going by fast and slow at the same time. Josh took some time off this week just to hang out at home with us, since he was gone a bunch last week. It was REALLY nice, and it was sad when he went back to work on Thursday. This weekend is a three day-er though, thank you 4th of July! We had a whole bunch of doctor appointments this week, where we found out that we have a Super Baby. Her hearing is perfect, she weighs 11 lbs now, she's almost 23 inches long and her head grew an inch and a half since birth! We met her pediatrician (Dr. Pritchard) for the first time and we loved her. Dr. Pritchard said Ada's neck strength is amazing, and that her eyesight seems really great too, that she can see pretty far. She has also started chewing on her hand non-stop, and drooling all over everything.

Her hair is finally growing, so  hopefully she'll lose that old man look soon and start filling in the sides. For now the top hair is kind of running the show, and the duck tail in the back is getting kind of long.

As for me, I'm feeling 100% again, so I've started trying to get some exercise during her naps. I've discovered that I am seriously out of shape. I think it's really going to take some work to lose the rest of the baby weight; more than just walks around the neighborhood. I couldn't even finish the workout DVD I did yesterday, and I am seriously sore today. Luckily it seems to maybe kind of be summer here now, so I can get out and get some outdoor exercise.

Naked Godzilla

There is no explanation for this video, so I won't even attempt one.

6 weeks

Ms. Ada Blue is 6 weeks old today. A few weeks ago it seemed like this day would never come, time was just dragging and I was so tired and frustrated. Everyone was right though, it DOES get easier, and she really has stolen my heart. She's starting to be fun to interact with, and she making little bits of progress every day. Today she noticed her feet, and she was very interested in them for about a minute. She's smiling a bunch more, and even laughing a bit! She just seems like such a happy baby. She won't smile as much when I have the camera in her face, but I did manage to get a video today.

My ears are ringing

Today Ade and I went to mom and baby yoga. The yoga part was fairly unproductive, but it was still fun. It was nice to see other babies at different stages and to get a peek of what's coming. Sitting up! Rolling over! High pitched screaming! Droooooling!

The adventure was a bit over-stimulating for her, and when we got home she cried for an hour and a half. Even a walk in the baby bjorn carrier didn't help, and that's my sure-fire calm down method. So I was just bouncing her while she cried and all of a sudden, she fell asleep. It was like this:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I actually laughed out loud! It was like she hit her limit and turned off. She's been asleep for a very lovely hour since then. Ahhhhh.

The River Wild

Yesterday we went to the river so Josh could go fly fishing. In my head I pictured fly fishing to be like this:

I should know better than to trust the movies. I wanted to go SO BAD, to get out of the house and enjoy the sun and see the river. We drove an hour and a half to the Maupin, and it was a beautiful sunny drive and Ada slept the whole way and the mountains were gorgeous. Then we arrived and the clouds came out, and the wind, and the babe woke up. Josh had fun fishing, and I sat in the grass, fought off bugs,  and tried to nurse and calm the baby. It didn't go very well. So then we drove home. 

This is the reality of fly fishing. Except the Pabst is missing, and the bugs, and the other people walking around.

And this is the reality of what happens when you come home and everyone is exhausted:

Somehow even Richard was exhausted, and he didn't even go! I tried to cook dinner, until Stella got under my feet and tripped me, and then I got mad at her, and then I felt bad and then I cried. I think we were all a bit over-tired. I guess outings will be more fun when the baby can wear waders and fish too. And I can stay at home and go shopping.

All the photos you can handle

I set up a flickr site today, for all of our photos. The link is flickr.com/furiousblueberry
I'm adding the link to the side of the blog, so you can find it easily, but you should bookmark it on your computer!
We're getting into more of a routine at home now, so I'm hoping for more time to blog and put up pictures. The picture uploading process can be slow though, so I'm starting at the birth and working my way up to now.

Ada gave us her first laughs and smiles the other day, and Josh got some photos, as well as a video, although the video has one smile at the beginning and then it's back to her regular self.

The hardest most wonderful 3 weeks.

I guess it doesn't matter how much preparation you do, or how much you read, or how many classes you go to, you just can't really be ready for  the experience of birth and then having a newborn. How can anyone explain the combination of intense love and joy when you look at her face and the complete misery that your body is in at the same time? The soreness and the hormones and the emotional stress and fear of what you've gotten yourself into, there was no way I could have been prepared for any of that. Our lives are in a million pieces, and the pieces will never fit back together the way they did before. We're starting over, building a new life, as three people, as a family. We're finding ourselves grieving over the loss of our old life, while being excited about our new one. The word we find ourselves using the most the last couple of weeks is overwhelming.

one day old, blood test

I'm already amazed by how much she has grown. Every time I pick her up to feed her she seems chubbier and sturdier and just a little bit longer. She's starting to have funny little habits, that maybe only I will notice, because we have so much intimate time together while I feed her. She gets annoyed if I mess with her feet while she's sucking. She likes to kick her little knee up to rest on my other breast while she's eating. She has a fake cry that she pulls out when she's hungry, but she doesn't seem to want to put in the effort of a real cry. She's started having an after-meal stretch which Josh loves.

4 days old

We're finding ourselves sliding into a routine, which I imagine will keep evolving as she grows and changes. She sleeps in 3 hour stretches at night, and usually goes right back to sleep after her feeding. Josh wakes up when she fusses and hands her to me, and after we're done he changes her diaper and soothes her back to sleep. Her wakeful times are mostly quiet, while she stares at whatever seems interesting to her at the moment, mostly the ceiling fan. She's such a sweet, mellow baby.

Great Grandma and Grandpa

First bath

Week one, tiny baby

Sleep style

Josh rocks the Moby wrap

 We had a week 3 photo shoot on the red couch yesterday, and caught some good faces.

It's a Girl!

I'm a little late on this, but it's only because we had a baby.
Her name is Ada Blue Kubisch, and she was born at 1:26 am on Monday May 9, 2011.
She was 8 lbs 6 ounces, and 20 inches long, with a 14 inch head.
And she's wonderful.

False Alarm!

We thought it was going to happen last night. I was having contractions that were consistently 8 minutes apart for about 9 hours, but they never got stronger and then they stopped. So we got another good night of sleep, and Josh cleaned the house and finished some basement things and I packed our bags and got our snacks all ready. Now when it really IS time, we won't have anything to do.
I'm hoping the contractions will start up again today. I'm feeling very frustrated, mostly because I'm bored. I want to see this baby's face!

The watermelon is in the nest!

I hope it didn't squish the baby birds. Also, I would like to eat a watermelon, in the warmth of the sun.
Contractions most of the day yesterday, off and on, but they stopped again last night. Just starting to have more again today, but still very mild. I guess this can go on for a long time, from what I've heard.
I'm running out of things to do and ways to entertain myself.

my baby ticker is off…

It says 2 more days,  but really it's 4 more til May 5th. I don't think it really matters at this point though. We made it to 40 weeks, which is awesome, because it means the Bloob is fully cooked and will have strong lungs and no worries. Right? I'm having more and more braxon-hicks contractions (we're started calling them contraptions, for fun), and I've been getting lots of good rest at night. Yesterday morning we went and soaked in a warm salt water pool, which really helped my pelvic pain, and it was just nice in general. We promised ourselves we would make it a habit to go back, we liked it so much. This is the pool.

It has jets in it too, so it's more like a hot tub when it's turned on. We went at 10 am, so it was still kind of cool outside, but getting sunny, and it felt so good to sit in the morning sun in the warm water! And, my maternity bathing suit still fits, so I was happy about that.

Today is 70 degrees and sunny, it's our first 70 degree day of the year! Josh and I did a bunch of yard work, then he just left to go to an afternoon painting seminar. Being out in the sun after this long rainy winter is so wonderful. It's what makes living in Portland bearable, the sun and plants just wipe away all that glumness so quickly. It looks like our blueberry bushes are going to be full this year, and we have a good plan for the garden beds, an herb garden on the deck, and a new sunnier spot for tomatoes. All you visitors will be a big help getting it done while you're here! You can carry the Bloob around the yard in the Ergo carrier while I sleep.

soon these will be bloobs!

I also have my skinny (not swollen) ankles back today for some reason. I think it means I didn't drink enough water yesterday, but I don't care. Look at those bones and veins! I haven't seen them in weeks.

This plant is in our back yard, Josh said it's called a Bleeding Heart. Very appropriate name I think! It's so beautiful.

I've also been really enjoying our neighbor's cherry tree. They actually have two different kinds right next to each other, the smaller one bloomed white flowers a couple weeks ago, and now the bigger one is all pink. I wish we had one in our yard, but I'll just enjoy theirs from afar.

I took a picture of myself with the tree. I thought I was smiling, but apparently not. And by the way, this is pretty much the only outfit that fits me now, and I've been wearing it every day. 

I was feeling sad that I don't have very many pictures of me being pregnant just doing stuff, so I was happy when Katie M. posted this picture the other day. This was last weekend at work. I want to eat all those doughnuts right now. 

I'm going to get in the kitchen and make some food to freeze. It's supposed to be my project while I'm waiting though hours of early labor, but I'm going to start now. Then when Josh comes home, I'll say I'm tired and he'll wash all the dishes. He loves dishes!

Today, the day I finally get bored.

I have nothing to do today. I could go shopping, or sew, or watch tv, but all of these things sounds boring to me. I slept pretty well last night, but had a lot of braxton-hicks contractions. I just took Stella on a walk, with the hope that her pulling me all over the neighborhood might encourage the Bloob, but I don't think it worked. She did a pretty good job of walking slow with me though.
Yesterday I gave Richard some catnip, just for entertainment. It was a good hours worth of laughs.

This waiting part is getting on my nerves.

Can I post the Final Countdown video again?

Ugh. I knew these last couple weeks were going to be the hardest, but UGH! I eat, I get heartburn. I don't eat, I get dizzy and weak, and I still get heartburn. I  want to exercise, but when I do I want to stop. I want to lie down, but when I do my pelvic pain gets so bad I have to get up and move around again. No wonder people try all kinds of crazy things to start labor!

Josh brought me flowers the other day, which was very sweet. Tulips are my favorite, and these are such a pretty color!

We did set up the bed in the basement bedroom the other day. It's my bed, you know, from back in my single days, and it's way more modern than Josh's style, but makes the basement space feel very clean and modern! I can't lift or bend at all really, so I mostly stood around and gave instructions while Josh put it all together. Then we laid down on the bed and Richard sat in the windowsill and Stella laid on her little rug at the foot of the bed. It was nice.

I mad this pillow for the bed yesterday. I made some quick curtains today, but I have to go get a tension rod today so I can hang them. And then…. I think we're ready.

We have a midwife appointment today at 3pm, where we will once again probably find out very little except that we just need to keep waiting.